I realise lately that I’ve done a lot of introspective posts about my feelings and thoughts, so I thought I’d mix it up a bit and write about some of my favourite activities…
My first ever spanking session went for just over an hour and a bit, about 12 years ago now.
So my friends tell me. I can’t remember most of the pain, all I remember is how it smarted, I remember thinking that I possibly couldn’t take any more as I was pushing through another pain barrier and the intensity started up all over again, it made me wiggle and giggle, it made me squirm and finally it made me fly. The lady who gave me said spanking is still one of my very good friends and her hands will always be some that I remember with delight.
So let’s go into the exquisite art of spanking. Because there is you know, it’s not just walloping for wallopings sake.
There’s a spanking sweet spot for me, just like the caning sweet spot. Except the caning sweet spot is in that sweet sweet fold of skin where your butt cheeks meet the top of your thighs and when you bend over and get caned right there it also catches your labia and you feel that burn through your body as your breath catches and you ride the waves of intense white-hot pain. But this isn’t my post about caning.
Let’s get back to the spankening fun times.
I think my submissive side confuses a lot of people.
That I have a submissive side is surprising to many people too. I think it’s because I come across as strong-willed (stubborn), independent (I like doing my own thing) and fail at taking direction (screw you, I like it my way).
So all the hallmarks of what a good submissive is not meant to be. But then, I’ve never really believed the rose-tinted view of what a good submissive should be.
A good submissive is someone who own themselves, they know themselves, they know how to communicate to their D-type if there is an issue, boundary or safety concern. A good submissive is someone who knows and trusts their D-type to take care of them but also has the foresight to know that their D-type is human and might need taking care of instead of always being the party that gets there’s also giving.
You know, all the important things that go into an adult relationship can be taken and placed straight into a D/s relationship. Just because your relationship is kinky, all the other important bits of making relationships work don’t just fly out the window. It takes two to tango. And it also takes two to make sure your kinky relationship lasts inside and outside of the bedroom.
I know it’s all lovely and awesome and oh so amazing when you first start, we’ve all been there… however after 14 years in this lifestyle, you learn quickly that it’s not all fun and games. A relationship is hard work. A D/s relationship is even harder.
I get asked a lot what I mean by “kinky”.
So I thought I’d go through and explain how I first got into the lifestyle and what it’s meant for me.
So google tells me this…
Yet why does kinky have to do with sexual behaviour? For me it encompasses a whole range of other things that have nothing to do with sex.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. How did I discover this lifestyle?
Well I had a computer back in the day when the only chat rooms available were either IRC or yahoo, I think we’re talking circa 1999. I was spending a night online chatting to my regular people instead of studying and a girlfriend I’d been talking to advised me that she thought I was submissive. Say what?