You know, trailing through the interwebs today I came across an interesting article.
About how we end up marrying the wrong people.
The article goes into very many points and I thought I would go through them in my way. Because I think we all make stupid decisions because we feel that we’re in “love”. That ever elusive self involved emotion where logic flies out the window and you do things because they feel good instead of running away screaming because that’s what any sane person would do.
Cynic? Who me? Nah, never.
Getting back to the article though…
In my travels around the web, I come across some pretty interesting articles.
This one on the Huffington Post wasn’t any different.
It’s titled: 10 ways to know you’re ready for a relationship.
And being the curious little thing I clicked the link to read the article. Because you know, there’s never enough self-improvement available for one and who knows, I might learn something new.
Their first paragraph actually caught me. Because it’s something I believe sets a great foundation for your own relationship foundation. And that’s being ready for a relationship.
What does ready mean though?
For me, it means that I’m at a place in my life where I don’t need a relationship, I’m happy, I’m healthy and I’m enjoying my life. It means that I’ve got a balance worked out and that whether I share my journey or not, I’ll be ok and I know I’m ok.
Here’s the 10 points that the article makes:
- Be as good as you can, as often as you can.
- You’ll put someone else’s interests ahead of your own
- You understand the importance of communication
- You’ve got some semblance of a path in life
- You can let the little things slide
- You’re ready to accept someone as they are
- You don’t look for someone to complete you
- You are happy being single
- Your ex is no longer a factor
- You are ready to blend your life into someone else’s.
But I like the way Baldwin frames being alone as a choice, one that calls to us not because we so love isolation and hate feelings, but because our relationship status is just one of many things we have to juggle. She’s not saying a partner wouldn’t be nice (or threatening to plunge cutlery into her eye)—although certainly some women, like some men, revel in total amatory freedom. But singlenesscan be voluntary, can be fulfilling, can be the best choice on the table at the moment, even if it’s not always a fountain of bliss. – Article from Daily Life
Singledom. The defect of relationship statuses for women it seems. Men could be bachelors for the rest of their lives and not get hit with any stigma in regards to their relationship status.
I know it’s the case for me. Especially coming from a European family. I’m 35. Don’t have children by choice, don’t have a partner by choice and quite content living in shared housing in an inner city boho chic suburb with a cat.