I have a few things planned that are going to make for stupidly funny or horrific blog posts.
My friends, being my friends, know that mostly I’ll try anything for the name of science. Or a laugh.
So in that vein, I recently posted on my facebook an article about Alex Logan’s Ode of Hatred to her Diva Cup.
You see, I’ve been told to get one of these things into my life for a very long time. And I’ve been scared. Downright petrified of the thing. It’s not natural. Yet as a friend, TimTam, on facebook put so eloquently “Ohhh tralala Diva Cup is a magical vessel to capture the precious moon blood from my sacred yoni!”
Well it’s not. And in amidst our discussions on menstruation cups, pads and tampons vs landfill and how to better be in touch with our vagina’s during their monthly cycle of I will flood you with blood so you suffer… SUFFER – oh and you wash so many sheets that you wish your uterus would have fallen out instead because it would be less messy and gross – I said that if someone sent me one for free I’d trial it and make a blog post about it.
And wouldn’t you know, my friends being the enablers that they are, one of them had one sitting around that they got for a present and never used because they were traumatised by their mild experimentations with a diaphragm. So she’s popped it in the mail for me to trial out and write about. Such a generous soul!
How bad could this be??? Right? RIGHT?!!!
Right. So watch this space. Apparently I need to post pictures too. No vagina shots. I have a shy vagina.
So anyway, next up is this baby foot stuff that my friends have raved on about on facebook. Baby foot I asked? What is this bloody baby foot business? I mean she’s recently had a baby, was she referring to rubbing it’s feet? But then they started talking about wait times and I thought no, she wouldn’t be sticking her baby’s feet into something for a period of time. Babies feeties are so soft and smooshy anyway!!!
So I pipped up and asked. What the fuck are you people talking about? Yes, we know, I have the class of a high femme fatale…
And then they told me. And I was horrified. Absolutely positively horrified. And grossed out. And then they showed me pictures that made me squeal and run around waving my hands around like a woman with her hair on fire. Especially since I hate feet. I do not do feet. AT ALL.
I then proceeded to ask them where to get said “baby foot” item from. Because I’m not above suffering for you lot.
Apparently you can get a Japanese version for less than $2 with free postage. So I ordered 2. I figure if I’m going to suffer so is Cern. So once I have the items I’ll be updating about those too. Pictures included because feet are disgusting and everyone should be traumatised with me. Sharing is caring right guys?
Oh the anticipation, it should have you all waiting with bated breath. Just don’t forget your mints.