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Reformed lesbianism? Is that even a *thing*?!

Reformed what?

I’ve written before about monosexism & my bisexuality.

As mentioned in that post, I was a lesbian before I became bisexual. I’m not going to go into that again with this post. What I did want to talk about was my transition. My journey. My experience.

And my love of women. And men. And possibly some of my relationship epiphanies.

It started young you know, I was kissing girls behind the school toilets when I was 7.

We started experimenting with more than just kissing in the long grass at primary school, possibly about age 10.

I got very familiar with vagina’s during this experimentation period. Don’t get me wrong, they were very confusing, yet endlessly fascinating to me. Look at that YUMMYNESS!!!!!

Sure I experimented with girls, but I didn’t really have a girlfriend until my late 20’s. Like a proper girlfriend. Move in together and be monogamous kind.

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28

Singdom doth not equate to the end of life as we know it

But I like the way Baldwin frames being alone as a choice, one that calls to us not because we so love isolation and hate feelings, but because our relationship status is just one of many things we have to juggle. She’s not saying a partner wouldn’t be nice (or threatening to plunge cutlery into her eye)—although certainly some women, like some men, revel in total amatory freedom. But singlenesscan be voluntary, can be fulfilling, can be the best choice on the table at the moment, even if it’s not always a fountain of bliss. – Article from Daily Life

Singledom. The defect of relationship statuses for women it seems. Men could be bachelors for the rest of their lives and not get hit with any stigma in regards to their relationship status.

I know it’s the case for me. Especially coming from a European family. I’m 35. Don’t have children by choice, don’t have a partner by choice and quite content living in shared housing in an inner city boho chic suburb with a cat.

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7

A derangement of mind.

Caption of my life

Loki – you know the one. The one mentioned in this post about sexual Liberation vs self denial. I thought it best to clarify where this man has entered my life and is causing such havoc which I didn’t expect.

The insane making bit is that he is in another country. I don’t do LDR. They are doomed before they even begin, right? Secondly… I don’t really have a secondly. The first is a pretty big one in my books. My biggest thing is to not get attached. I am attached. We aren’t exclusive, I wouldn’t expect him to be considering I’m a 13 hour flight away. He doesn’t expect me to be either from what he tells me. I’m not used to this feeling of jealousy when he mentions who he’s flirted with or wanting to get a leg over someone over there. I’ll put this down to the fact that they can get what I can’t. I hate sharing something I don’t have. I think it feeds my fear of abandonment. Daddy issues, you know.

It does fit really well with my own sexual liberation though. Because it’s all but cured me of my wish to fuck anyone else. Sexual liberation be damned, my vagina has lust for one man who it can’t get at the moment.

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8

The juxtaposition that is man…What?

I’ve had this discussion with a few friends, lately it was over free food and wine at a Yelp Elite Event – I met a lovely lass who had gotten back from America not long after I had and were were contemplating the differences in our experiences with men.

Oh hello Mr Fur Beastie, I want your jumper. And you. Why don’t you wear it over?

You see, when I was in America last for the entire month I was there, I didn’t have a night that I didn’t have a date. What? Yup, that’s right. I had a date every single night when I was over there.

The last time I had a date in Australia? Oh. Possibly about 2.5 years ago. It was an utter failure. He was vegan. I love meat. He got upset that I ate meat. I didn’t order any for our dinner though because I’m a thoughtful person like that. He tried to lecture me about global warming and I lost it. I started trolling him. It was politely at first. About how all animal farms now use humane ways to kill their animals for eating purposes. That leather is a really handy material for things. Like whips. I don’t think he believed me when I said it was for whips, he just looked at me funny. But could you imagine a single tail that’s made of pleather? Like seriously? How the fuck is that even meant to hurt? Or how is one even meant to savour the oncoming onslaught of pain, shock, noise… without that sweet sweet smell of well oiled and used leather? And we all know what a scent whore I am.

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0

Sex? Yes. Right now. And then again. And again. And ….

Sex.

It makes the world go around.

Not money, like the rest of the herd would have you believe. No. It’s all about the shagging.

Now I don’t know about you but apparently according to this article, we wimmin folk go around denying our desires. So I sat and thought about it. Then navel gazed some more about it and came to conclusion that at certain times in our lives, we do actually suppress our desire to get laid. Or any other sexual desire that might crop up.

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