12

Nerves, concern, sickness & subpoenas.

We knew this day would come around eventually.

But it wasn’t a reality until I got that email saying I’ve been subpoenaed to attend court.

So the churning in my guts and the nausea I feel as I’m writing this with my eyes tearing up convinces me that this might not the easiest thing in the world. For my friend or myself.

One last hurdle. One last hurdle and it’s done. It’s gone. We never have to deal with it ever again and he gets deported after his sentence.

The relief of this doesn’t lessen the sweaty palms or the sick feeling in my stomach.

I worry about my friend. About what avenue she might take to deal with this, to get past it. However I can not fault her, this might be hard for me, it’s going to be hell for her. How she deals with this is whichever way she feels she can cope. Of me, all I can do is offering to be there.

I’m a but a buoy in the rough seas at the moment.

My own turbulence wouldn’t even match hers. Yet in a way I’m so proud of her. For not quitting. For not withdrawing and saying no more.

Sometimes there’s peace in knowing the fucker pays. I hope this gives her the peace she needs and deserves.

I don’t really have words at the moment. However when they come, I apologise in advance for the torrent of emotional posts that will follow.

28

Singdom doth not equate to the end of life as we know it

But I like the way Baldwin frames being alone as a choice, one that calls to us not because we so love isolation and hate feelings, but because our relationship status is just one of many things we have to juggle. She’s not saying a partner wouldn’t be nice (or threatening to plunge cutlery into her eye)—although certainly some women, like some men, revel in total amatory freedom. But singlenesscan be voluntary, can be fulfilling, can be the best choice on the table at the moment, even if it’s not always a fountain of bliss. – Article from Daily Life

Singledom. The defect of relationship statuses for women it seems. Men could be bachelors for the rest of their lives and not get hit with any stigma in regards to their relationship status.

I know it’s the case for me. Especially coming from a European family. I’m 35. Don’t have children by choice, don’t have a partner by choice and quite content living in shared housing in an inner city boho chic suburb with a cat.

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