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Whore-phobia – Waving the red flag.

I’ve been through a really emotionally draining yet uplifting weekend. However something I came across through my travels that made me sit up and get a bit cranky was this belief that sex workers, hookers, whores… they are somehow less than human. What they do is degrading.. well no, it’s not actually.

Now being that I’m a slut positive and anti-shaming anything kinda gal, I decided I needed to have a rant about it.

Since I live in Australia, prostitution is legal here. Yes I thank the many gods about this fact daily too. What that means is that if I wanted, it is a viable and very profitable way to earn a living. I have friends that earn upwards of $300 an hour for their services.

I have many many friends who are sex workers. They are intelligent, funny, sassy, amazing women and men with degrees from universities all across the country. Does that they get paid hourly to fuck people somehow detract from that? Being that they spend their time being paid to supply sex, does this somehow now make them inferior? Damaged goods? Unwanted because they are used already?

A lot of this ties into slut shaming. And we all know how I feel about that – basically what it comes down to is that as humans we all love sex. Yes, even those people who have a low sex drive and enjoy maybe once every 6 months to those like me who would be having sex every minute of every hour if I could except Cern may just override that and tie me up in a corner to make sure I die from the horny while he tortures me a bit more by sexually frustrating me. Yes I whine, but secretly I love it.

That’s beside the point however.

The point I’m trying to make here is that just because someone has chosen to do sex work doesn’t mean that they are doing it because they have a drug habit, or are sold off in the sex trade, or forced into prostitution. Don’t get me wrong, these things do happen and they are a blight upon sex workers all over the world. It’s unjust, inhumane and shouldn’t be tolerated at all. However, on the flip side, there are also a lot of sex workers in Australia who chose this job for a myriad of reasons which are positive.

I’ve heard some people say that they would never date a sex worker. I never understood this concept. Maybe because the way I view sex and intimacy is really rather different to everyone else. I mean you can totally have sex with someone without caring deeply for them. There doesn’t have to be a connection of any kind apart from the physical act of shagging each other. And when I talk to my friends about their personal relationships with others I came to the realisation that just because they get paid to have sex with people, doesn’t mean that at home they can’t have a fulfilling and loving relationship with someone else. Sex doesn’t equate to love. A loving sexual relationship is so much more. Yet when my friends take on a client that is one of their regulars there’s a level of intimacy there, yet it’s still professional and its still work.

I think sex workers get such a bad rap because people believe that somehow sex makes you dirty. If you’ve been with a lot of people or you take payment for sex then it means you’re tainted goods. I blame the men who wrote those stupid religious texts for these misconceptions and the belief that somehow working as a sex worker is a bad thing.

I once applied and nearly worked at a brothel. Granted it wasn’t a full service house, it was part service or what I like to call a “rub and tug”. You got dressed up in pretty lingerie and massaged people with a happy ending included. No penetration. Only they wanted me to take out all my piercings to work there so I said no. As they say, don’t get between a girl and her piercings man. Which is a shame really, because I think I would have had a ball at the rub and tug.

Basically, I think, it all comes down to sex workers just being like the rest of us. Some have families that they are supporting by being sex workers, other’s are putting themselves through university or just earning a living. Thankfully we live in a country where brothel’s have stringent rules and regulations for all workers including safe sex practices and regular testing and checks.

Maybe I’m just a bit weird but I honestly don’t get the anti-whore-ism that seems to be prevalent in society. Sex workers are amazing people who contribute something amazing to the community, even if you don’t agree with it, it’s an important service that other’s do appreciate and do support.

Myself included.

So when I read or hear anything anti-sex workers I take a stand. I have marched with Scarlet Alliance for worker rights, acceptance and to stop the government from deregulating the sex work industry. I’ve put my hat in the bag and supported friends and other’s I deem family in what they do, their right to do it and the fact that it doesn’t make them less of a person or unable to be a loving partner.

So where do you stand on dating a sex worker? Does it bother you? Would it bother you? Why?

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Sex worker positive sites that have some interesting information and links:

SWOP – Sex Workers Outreach Project
Scarlet Alliance – Australian Sex Workers Association

 

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The Gloria Jeans Boycott; where you go to get your coffee served up with a side of homophobia.

And today we look at my love of coffee… and boycott of Gloria Jeans.

Which is unfortunate because they do a mean caramel maccihiato.

It all started about 5 years ago, when my friend told me that Gloria Jeans was owned by the Hillsong Church. I mournfully waved good-bye to my Gloria Jeans frequent sippers card and had a bit of a sob. You see, the Hillsong Church to me, symbolises all that is wrong with religion today. They take a cut of your pay check, they preach hatred and discrimination (homophobia, intolerance of other religions, peoples, etc) and they want to build some holy monolithic structure out west where they can have weekend hoe downs ending in mass orgies.

Well ok, that last bit I made up, but I’m sure if they did have mass orgies they would be less hateful.

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The stigma of bisexuality. Monosexism at it’s best.

Let’s get into this whole bisexual thing. Because apparently it is a “thing”. Or so I keep being told by lesbians. Or straight people. I’ll succumb to my heteronormative rights and hide behind a man apparently.

Or I’m just greedy. I can’t make up my mind. I only act at being gay. People ask me what my orientation is, I say half gay. Queer. I identify more with queer and have for a long time in my life. I don’t fit the lipstick lesbian mould. I don’t fit the butch mould. I have long hair. I wear jeans, cons and wife beaters with bright red lipstick on. I have pink power tools. I wear dresses and heels and sometimes I even grow and paint my  nails. I tie people up and suspend them for my pleasure. And sometimes theirs.

I fall in love with personalities. Not what’s in their pants. I love tits. I love cock. I love the twinkle in a person’s eye when they cotton on to what perverted shit I’ve whispered in their ear. What’s hiding behind their clothing has never been an issue for me.

Does this make me any less slutty? No. I own my inner slut. We’re on reaaaaaaaaaaaaally good terms. In fact, we’ve had a lot of fun together over the years and I’m not ashamed of it. Bless her. She’s made me a better person. However just because I’m bisexual hasn’t meant that it’s caused me to be promiscuous. I have never cheated on a partner. I’ve had them cheat on me though. What I learnt from those experiences is that I prefer brutal honesty in a relationship instead of lies and deceit. You want to fuck someone? Sure, let me know, most times I’m not going to give a flying fuck about who you want to stick what into long as you keep it safe. Lie to me and I walk. There are no second chances with that.

When I’m single I’m up for a lot. Because why the hell shouldn’t I indulge in my fantasy’s? They are healthy. And like my wank fodder up there, I happily take on more than one. But that doesn’t mean that when I’m in a relationship I’m somehow lacking. I bring it to the table, do you?

So let’s start with what bisexuality means, dictionary wise.

bi·sex·u·al

[bahy-sek-shoo-uhl]

adjective

1. Biology:

a. of both sexes.
b. combining male and female organs in one individual; hermaphroditic.

2. sexually responsive to both sexes; ambisexual.

Then let’s talk about monosexism. What is monosexism?

Monosexism is synonymous with biphobia in many ways because it perpetuates the myth that a person can only truly be attracted to one gender. Monosexists reinforce binary thinking through their insistence that orientation is confined to the two polarities of either straight or gay. – Erin Tatum – Everyday Femisim Article

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Happily ever after? Fuck you Disney.

Disney has a lot to answer for.

What is true love? What is this happily ever after that these characters seem to get?

All I’ve known is heart ache. Happily ever after has a fucking shelf life.

It’s about 2 – 3 years max. Then they walk out of your life never to return.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Disney lied.

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Men boycotting marriage? Say it’s not true!

In this brave new world where bitches be crazy, legal bias against men (men statistically do worse in custody and divorce proceedings than women) is another reason they’re opting out. Women are money-grubbing lazy shrews who trap men into marriage by getting knocked up, then cheat on them, divorce them and walk away with their winnings, rubbing their manicured hands as they go. Taken from Why Straight Men are Boycotting Marriage

That paragraph? It made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Because bitchez be craycray. No seriously, we all obviously are. We expect them to clean up after themselves, cook their own food, help keep the place clean and take out the garbage every other night that we don’t. How, well… equitable of us!! How dare we!

So ok, that was a bit over the top. My generalisation brush went for a bit of a wide sweep there no?

The topic remains though. Why is everyone still so caught up with conventional marriage?

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