Mothering. The joys of living with a 70+ year old. And escaping to another state.

Remember when I thought it was a good idea to move back home to help mum out and also save myself some money?

Next time I think of anything remotely interesting like this and being a good Samaritan, someone please slap me back to earth.

Apart from that it’s been a pretty full on 7 months. Cern is living in my mum’s granny flat out the back and spending lots of time between my bedroom and his bedroom. Bless him, he hasn’t unpacked a box yet so there are tunnels from his bedroom to the kitchen & bathroom. At this rate I may need to start nagging him to hurry up so that at least we have a space to escape to that mum isn’t likely to follow.

Cern and I are still going strong. We went on a road trip to Melbourne and surrounds just over a week ago for a week together. He did most of the driving and I did most of the sleeping. There was a reason for all my sleeping, but that’s for another post.

The drive down we ended up doing a bit late because we got distracted at the EB Games Expo, we were meant to be there for a few hours and leave, but ended up staying the whole day.

So on the drive down we stayed at some place. Somewhere. Inland. The sun was out, I was howling with some songs on the radio and Cern hadn’t thrown me out of the moving car yet, I figured we were good.

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We stayed with my other state Wifey and we road tested that her creaky bed does not, in fact, collapse if you fuck on it even after she said to stick to the middle of the bed. We drove around, went sex toy shopping to the local warehouse full of adult things. It was rather boring, believe it or not. I think we go into them more these days because of the novelty of it. Honestly, half the clothes there wouldn’t even fit my nipple in it, let alone my boob. The sex toys weren’t that interesting, I think Cern may have ruined me with Bad Dragon toys. Honestly. We found a jerky house, I kid you not, an actual shop that just sells jerky! Cern had a jerky-gasm.

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Back to the point though. I took lots of pictures, we went dinosaur fossil hunting – which involved me wildly bashing rocks with my geopick while Cern carefully smashed some rocks to look inside a lot. I found the pulverizing cleansing. He got upset at me because a rock I was holding with a fossil dissolved in my hand in the wind. I swear it was an accident. So we had to find him another one lest I die of misplaced wind guilt.

The view along the Great Ocean Road was very pretty though. Here’s some peektures for you all.

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We saw a lot of koala’s running around on the ground. Well. Running is an overstatement. They kind of do this barreling weird walk thing. However they are cute. I don’t care how many I thought were morphing into drop bears at night with their calling out for females to hump and the fact that I nearly crawled up Cern during our night-time wander around the camp yard to find the wifi since we were in the middle of nowhere and had no reception for anything.

The things I learnt about my relationship with Cern after being in a car with him for a week?

  1. He thinks my weird peculiarities are amusing
  2. He doesn’t mind that I sing as badly as nails going down a chalkboard
  3. He lets me sleep and does most of the driving without holding it against me
  4. He says I shrink his car whenever he tries to get back into the driver’s side after I’ve driven because I’m so small and have to move the seat up so far
  5. He’s a funny lil/big shit that makes me laugh a lot
  6. He doesn’t mind stopping when I squee at things and letting me get out of the car to take peektures to show friends on facebook, sometimes even reversing said car back up the road
  7. He laughs at my moody phases
  8. Being near him has a calming effect on me when he’s not hurting me to listen to me giggle or inappropriately groping me in public so I say “sweetie” in a high-pitched WTF did you do man kinda voice
  9. He drives like a mad man when I point out that he’s giving me a heart attack
  10. I love him and thank the stars that he’s hung around for this long



The pull of winter & work blocking my wordpress access!

You see, there’s a combination of things that have stopped me from updating. Mostly it’s because work has decided that since I’ve gone self hosted, my blog address is entirely not work respectable and has blocked it due to adult content. Damn them!!!

Which means that my updating has gone out the window because by the time I get home all I want to do is blow up pixels and the urge to write goes out the window.

However I will endeavour to make myself write more at home now somehow.

I write to release and cleanse my head but I also would like to write so that what I’m writing makes sense. I guess that’s also why I’ve refrained from doing so. I’m jumbled. Emotionally and mentally.

Plus sometimes I wonder if putting my private life in such a public sphere is good for me. Considering I’ve spent a lot of my life with a lot of my body and mind on public display from shows at Hellfire weekly to Fetlife to a bunch of other various kinky & LGBTIQ community activities. My life has always been an open book and sometimes I think there’s space for me to shut it.

Yet then I have clarity and realise that sharing my experiences doesn’t constitute as sharing parts of me that I want to keep private. I think I still have parts that I want to share with just my partner, especially since everything else is so public. I guard a bit of myself like a goblin with his pot of gold and an OCD for keeping them sparkling. 

In another vein, as I’m still living out of boxes, I feel the pull of winter and hibernation greatly. I want to shut up shop and withdraw to watch crap teevee and eat things that are bad for me.

Instead I’m pulling up my big girl socks and probably going to sleep on writing about last week and how emotionally gut wrenching it was for me.

Oh and the baby foot booties have arrived. We have the kids this weekend so we can’t indulge in making our feet goopy icky – so watch this space for an update next week on the foot experiment!!


Migration to self hosted

I did it.

I finally went to my own server because I love the control I get over my blog more than I love WordPress.com. Who knew? That my little submissive was a control freak! Hah!

So if you used to get updates on my blog via email through WordPress.com you’re going to have to subscribe to email updates through the sidebar registration. Otherwise I’ll just appear in your reader as per normal.

Love and humps m’dears. Here’s to a new home!


Very Inspiring Blogger Award


I got another sparkly y’all!! This time thanks go to the lovely lass at Divorced & Single – so thank you for the nomination dearling! I’m absolutely beside myself with glee.

Here are the rules of the Inspiring Blogger Award:

The nominee shall display the respective logo on her/his blog and link to the blogger that has nominated her/him. The nominee shall nominate up to 15 bloggers that she/he admires, by linking to their blogs and informing them about the nomination. The nominee shall answer seven questions:

1. Who is your favourite public figure?
I have so many!! Stephen Fry. Neil Gaiman. Terry Pratchett. Amanda Palmer. Marilyn Manson. Richard Dawkins. Shall I keep going?

2. What do you like most?
What do I like most? In regards to what? Kink wise I love my rope. I couldn’t go a week without fondling it at some point. Intellectually I love reading articles on scientific websites that make me inspired and awestruck at how beautiful and expansive our world and the universe is. Emotionally, I love the connected feeling I get when I’m sharing a space with people I love.

3. Do you follow trends?
Trends… trends? What are trends? As in shoe wear? I mean, I always go for the beautifully crafted steam punkish boots. Or the cutesy zombie bear mary janes… I think I fail at trends.

4. What do you do when someone gets angry?
I walk away. Unless I’m riled up too, then usually there’s a bit of a yelling match and I stomp off to cool down somewhere else. I try not to engage while angry because it’s such a horrible emotion to be communicating with. It’s full of barbs and stings to hurt the other person which doesn’t solve anything and ruins the relationship.

5. What have you loved the most?
What have I loved the most? The one I’ve loved the most I had to let go. She’s still in my life and seeing her happy makes me happy. I love my cat. I’ve loved travelling around America and other countries. I’ve loved learning new things about myself and others. I’ve loved and I’ve lost and I’ve ended up broken but it’s all been worth it, in a myriad of ways. And I’ve loved being on the new and foreign road with Cern. He’s making me feel and experience things that were beyond me before.

6. Do you have causes?
… causes? Like my getting laid cause? Everyone should have a cause like that. Getting laid is very bloody important. However I do have causes that I will stand up for. Like Reclaim the Night here in Sydney. Like the Slut Walk. Like the Cat Protection Society. The Sex Workers Rights walks. The protests against the government for various idiotic shit they think they can push through. So maybe yes, I do have causes.

7. What quality do you admire the most?
Admire? I admire honesty – own your mistakes, own your achievements, own yourself. I admire someone who asks your permission before sharing anything of yours (whether that’s my boobs, see previous post, or my personal information or my life). I admire someone who says what they mean and follows that up with the actions to enforce that what they said isn’t just words to gloss you over. I admire people who are true to themselves and others.

I admire good sunsets. I admire bio-luminescent algae that rocks my world. I admire sharks for the graceful but deadly beauty. I admire those little red back spiders that will always fill me with happy. I admire a beautifully big and round moon rise. I admire someone who loves unconditionally and showers you with that love day in day out. I admire my friends and my family. I admire a great set of boobs and arse smile and good shoes.

And most of all I admire you guys, for writing the way you do. Honestly, openly with warts and all. You make the blog-o-sphere worth reading.

Here are my nominations however I’m going to make a change on the rules a bit, if you don’t want to participate that’s fine too. Just remember that I think y’all are awesome.

Expat Eye on Germany – If you guys don’t read Linda you should. She’s funny and her travels through Europe have me in stitches. One day I’ll corner her in a pub somewhere and have a pint together.

Evie the Rabbit – Evie evie evie! She’s delectable and totally edible. She writes about her kinky and poly adventures and keeps me perving, lusting and entertained muchly!

Deliciously Inappropriate – For a blog full of naughty stories that inspire me to shop online for a new hitachi, this is a fantastic wank fest blog! Inspiring in such a way that it goes straight into your panties!

Shears Tears and Rice – A relatively new addition to my blog-o-verse but a welcome one. She writes about things that are hard to read but makes you resonate with her in her frustrations and joys. Men, family, life and the shitfalls that come with all of the above combined. Thank you for finding me!

The rules are to display the awards on your blog, to answer the above 7 questions, and to nominate up to 15 fellow bloggers. Have fun with it!


Experimentation – Question time?

So I’ve been thinking about opening up my blog once a week for questions.

From anything kinky to life to love to political to academic.

If you have a question use my contact me page to send me an email and ask and I’ll choose a day that I answer all questions that come through. If you want to remain anonymous feel free to include that in your email and I will ensure that you are given a pseudonym and your name isn’t mentioned. Your secrets are safe with me.

What do y’all think?

Help me out here!!! What name do you think?

Any of those? Or feel free to vote and comment with any other suggestions.


Bad Girl Blogger Awards – No, it doesn’t vibrate, I checked.


I got nominated for this award twice this week and haven’t had a chance to do anything about it, so thought I would spend the Sunday where there’s a huge heat wave across Sydney that’s melting the roads to update my blog since I can’t be outside. I may as well be inside playing.

So a huge shout out goes to Marian – Over at Creative Noodling. She’s a downright doll and awesome to read her antics. I definitely would love to have a margarita night with that woman. So if you haven’t read her, go do. She’s naughty in all the right ways, promise.

The second nomination came from one of my favourite boobs people, Goaty – she of the wonderful Turning Lamebo’s into Rainbows, or at least one half of it. NU (Nonsense Unicorn) is just as cute, so go check out their blog. Shoo be off with you.

Now since Marian offered me the award first I figured I don’t need to stick to any rules. I think we’ve all worked out that I’m a pro at breaking the rules, especially if it earns me a spanking.

But in light of the award I thought I would offer it up to a few other bloggers that I think deserve it:

Sex and the City of Light – Roxy is a world traveller who details all her dating ups and downs as she traverses through Paris was her last stop, she’s now in my hometown of Sydney and causing riot. Go read her.

Becoming HIS – this is the blog of a fellow kinky blogger who is just a sweetheart to read. She writes erotica (which is totally hot!) and blogs all things kinky, sexy and meow.

Sex Blog (of sorts) – is written by Charlie who writes things that make me sit up and take notice, not to mention her sinful Sunday posts? PHWOAR! Go read her sometime.

And finally and not least of all: Seattle Poly Chick – I can’t remember how I found her blog, but gosh golly am I bloody glad I did. For someone like me who has dabbled in poly and gone from open to closed to I don’t know what we’re doing – her blog is a refreshingly honest account of her journey. She’s reminds me that poly isn’t meant to be easy, we all have our demons and loving isn’t and shouldn’t be something I should be afraid of.

And I’m going to take a slice from the Marian pie and say congratulations ladies!! You don’t have to do anything with this award but wear it proudly. If you want to forward it on, do, if you don’t, let it sit on your shelf like I am letting mine do and lament that one day maybe we’ll finally get a vibrating one.


Mental Health Week

I’m not sure if you guys are aware but tomorrow is Mental Health DayFriday 10th October. So in support of this I’m going to write about my issues centring around depression and health.

This year has been a bit of a rough ride for me. I went through my first bout of depression when one of my friends committed suicide and I broke up with my ex girlfriend.

This year I got dumped via text message because he was too scared to try. I found out the reason I seem to be piling on the weight even though I’m eating right and exercising didn’t have to do with me, but because my ovaries and PCOS has decided that I need another round of fucking up my life with insulin resistance. My blood sugar is so high that 1 more point and I’m diabetic. Yes, remind me to thank you ovaries again, for fucking my life over in so many nice ways. I’m on tablets I take daily, I started them 3 days ago. I’ve lost 3 kilo’s in 3 days. I’m on my way back, but the urge to run and hide is like a drug to me at the moment.

I can’t figure out if I’m currently agoraphobic because I’m depressed or I’m agoraphobic because I just don’t want to go out.

If only I could lose the big black cloud that’s currently circling my head because let me tell you something; knowing that you’re doing all the right things and your body isn’t doing what it’s meant to is a real kick in the cunt. I’ve rejoined the gym up the road so that I don’t have to avoid going for a run because it’s raining any more. My membership starts tomorrow and I can’t wait to get back into it. Also the fact that I can’t seem to find a man worth of even a cup of coffee and some talk is super depressing. Am I going to be alone forever? Should I get some more cats to counteract this?

I’m off to see my GP this weekend to get a referral to see a psychologist. Because in Australia you can get 10 free visits to a shrink for free under our health system. I’m going to make use of it, because I know what she’s going to say to me when I’m back on that couch. But sometimes I need to hear it from someone else that isn’t a friend or family. Sometimes I need to hear that anyone, given the circumstances would feel the same. I need to hear that I’m not crazy and that I will be ok. Soon.

Health wise I feel like I have taken back some control of my life. Things are going back the way the need to be. In a months time I go and get my insulin levels checked again and hopefully, hopefully they are climbing down. And with them my weight and my depression.

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From there to here, some questions…

Maurna tagged me on some questions she received today from another fellow blogger so I am going to take a moment to address these.

What am I working on at the moment?

Working on? Uh. Well. At the moment I have about a million and one things going at the same time. I’ve restarted studying full time and I’m working full time – so between having my head in a text book, going out on restaurant reviews with my urban family, cycling across a few suburbs to invade the Dojo which houses my rope family to make impromptu moosh to feed peoples and trying to get over a recent break up… well. Oh shit, and my blog. Because I have all these posts that have been plaguing my dreams like a tsunami of words.

Oh oh and I’m going to start a new craft project. A tonberry. As Christmas presents for my Final Fantasy geeks.

How does my work differ from others in this genre?

Well, when I write I don’t hold much back. You get the raw, the ugly, the “did she just say that? I can’t believe she said that” moments… Just check out my guide on How to eat pussy 101 – it’s gone a bit viral on tumblr. YAY! Edumacating the masses on the delicate yet awesomely fun cunnilingus!

I also happily answer questions through people sending me emails about certain kinky things that they want help with, which I think is sweet. Thank you for engaging!

Why do I write what I do?

Because after the horrible episode of those stupid books – I think kink needs to be spread to the world in a more realistic way. Yeah, I’ve been kinky for a hell of a long time, it’s just who I am and it’s what I do. It doesn’t mean that I don’t function like everyone else. Just slightly more off kilter.

And that’s not a bad thing.

How does my writing process work?

I don’t have a process. I know, shocking.

I have idea bubbles that pop up every so often that I try to stick on my notes on my phone to remind me to write about later. And then promptly forget about them. Most times though I usually need to vent and I’ll hop on the blog at work during lunch time and have a wee rant about various issues, from feminism to racism to gender politics. Or gaming. Or sex. Mainly sex. Sometimes travelling. But usually sex.

Sex is important.


 Now for some other’s that I think need a quick mention. They are entertaining, sweet, intriguing and some interact on a variety of subjects sometimes.

Whether they answer the questions or not is irrelevant – I’d still drink all their tequila. You should check them out and share the lovin’


Hella Buzzed


Allergic To Normal

Vagabond Urges


Being nommed! Red carpet time…

I would say I’d love to walk down the red carpet in some hot little number with heels that made me want to spend my time lying in-front of a mirror with my legs in the air… however last time I walked down anything resembling an aisle was for my sister’s wedding and I was wearing some awesome heels which got caught in the grass and I stumbled, nearly face-planted… righted myself while giggling and proceeded to walk down the aisle snickering like a little school girl. Elegance. I got it.

So let’s just pretend I’m walking down the red carpet, in to lust after heels and I don’t fall and I meet up with the lovely lass from over at Cellulitelooksbetterthantan who nominated me for an award – as well as Meme & JohnnyID! Horray!


So the rules are as follows:

#1: Post the award on your blog – tick. Can I have a trophy too?

#2: Thank the blogger who presented this award and link back to their blog. – Thank you Cellulitelooksbetterthantan & Meme & JohnnyID!

#3: Write 11 random facts about yourself.

#4: Nominate 11 bloggers who you feel deserve this award and who have less than 200 followers.

#5: Answer 11 questions posted by the presenter and ask your nominees 11 questions.

Ok, so that sounds easy enough no? Quite.

Here goes, buckle in, the rides about to start… if you need to puke there are no buckets supplied, use your shirt.

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