You see, there’s a combination of things that have stopped me from updating. Mostly it’s because work has decided that since I’ve gone self hosted, my blog address is entirely not work respectable and has blocked it due to adult content. Damn them!!!
Which means that my updating has gone out the window because by the time I get home all I want to do is blow up pixels and the urge to write goes out the window.
However I will endeavour to make myself write more at home now somehow.
I write to release and cleanse my head but I also would like to write so that what I’m writing makes sense. I guess that’s also why I’ve refrained from doing so. I’m jumbled. Emotionally and mentally.
Plus sometimes I wonder if putting my private life in such a public sphere is good for me. Considering I’ve spent a lot of my life with a lot of my body and mind on public display from shows at Hellfire weekly to Fetlife to a bunch of other various kinky & LGBTIQ community activities. My life has always been an open book and sometimes I think there’s space for me to shut it.
Yet then I have clarity and realise that sharing my experiences doesn’t constitute as sharing parts of me that I want to keep private. I think I still have parts that I want to share with just my partner, especially since everything else is so public. I guard a bit of myself like a goblin with his pot of gold and an OCD for keeping them sparkling.
In another vein, as I’m still living out of boxes, I feel the pull of winter and hibernation greatly. I want to shut up shop and withdraw to watch crap teevee and eat things that are bad for me.
Instead I’m pulling up my big girl socks and probably going to sleep on writing about last week and how emotionally gut wrenching it was for me.
Oh and the baby foot booties have arrived. We have the kids this weekend so we can’t indulge in making our feet goopy icky – so watch this space for an update next week on the foot experiment!!