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Kinky Q & A – #3

2-2-Fluff_Mr_Done

I know it’s been a while since I did this, but I got caught up with life and Cern and well, lots of Cern. And let’s be honest, the guy is pretty amazing to be caught up in. He makes me purr so good! Meow

Er, getting back on point though. Kinky Q & A time guys!!

Here’s some questions I got, don’t forget that if you have any questions feel free to email them to me at spankalicious.co@gmail.com or through the contact me page.

So without further ado:

Question 1: What is a fetish?

A fetish? Umm, well. Technically? It’s something that gets you off. Or if we were to look at the dictionary term

noun
1.

an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2.

any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion:

to make a fetish of high grades.
3.

Psychology. any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

Obviously we’re all talking about the third one in the above list…

For example, let’s have a look at some of my fetishes. For starters I have a fetish for rope. Wrap me up tight in some and my thighs get wet instantly, no need to touch anything else. Hurt me a bit with the rope while tying and I really start losing control. Why rope? Well, I have a soft spot for natural fibres. The rope I prefer to use on people and have used on me is jute. It has a distinct smell to it that makes me moan softly and want to wrap myself in it naked and roll around.

Another fetish I have is rubber. Latex. The smell of rubber makes me want to peal my skin off and reskin myself in it and masturbate furiously all at once. I once sat on a couch with another friend who has a latex fetish and we had a pair of latex pants with us. She grabbed one leg, I had a hold of the other leg while we held the waist closed and we put the leg pieces over our nose and mouths to breath in the smell while we moaned and writhed on the couch. Put me in a latex vac bed and I’m pretty much dying and going to heaven, especially with other’s touching me on the outside of the bed. I would LOVE to try a hitachi while in a vac bed. Actually, I think I’d want to try everything in a vac bed that was possible. I’m claustrophobic yet the vac bed pushes my fears and makes me so hot and bothered at the same time that I don’t have the words to express what it does to me.

When I’m walking past motorbike mechanic shops I stop just a wee bit outside the door and take a few deep breaths. And no, it’s not just because I’m weird. But it’s the combined smell of leather, rubber and motor oil that takes me to my happy place. Yes, I have a fetish for leather too…

I have a rubber band ball at work I sniff when I get stressed and it sends me to my happy place. Don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret.

A fetish is what makes you horny. It’s what makes you want to tear the world apart to have this thing and come furiously at the same time.

Actually I think Cern is a new fetish…

So, what’s your fetish?

 

Question 2: Safewords, yes or no?

I don’t tend to play with safewords. Only because when I do play I play hard and I play fast and I play with people who I’ve played with for for many many many years who know my body, they know my reactions and they know my limits.

Playing with someone new a safeword is something that you should use. And don’t just have one safeword. Use a few, sometimes you don’t want the scene to stop,  you just want them to give you a break, so use a word that means slow down a bit. Have another word to mean I don’t like what you’re doing, please do something else and then have one to make sure the scene ends.

When I’m tying people up I don’t use safewords either. But then before I tie people up we have a conversation. Usually during this conversation I ask about any injuries they’ve sustained that I should know about, if they’ve drunk a lot of water or gone on a bender lately. How well did they sleep? Is anything bothering them? How masochistic are they feeling? What are their expectations from the rope I’m about to do? Is there something they’d like me to try with them? Is there something that they want to push? Or are they happy to let me take them where I want?

If it’s someone who has never been in my ropes before I go through basic rope safety with them. What kind of things they will feel in their arms and fingers. What kind of tingles and feelings are bad, I tell them that I expect them to use their words. I will prompt and ask how they are coping every so often, but if something doesn’t feel right, I want them to tell me. Articulate and you will be guaranteed that I’ll be asking to tie you again as I learn your body more and more through our communications in my ropes.

So basically? It comes down to you. To be on the safe side, use your safewords. Make sure they are part of your negotiations and make sure that the other party understands what they are and what they stand for. If you need a spotter during your first few plays, then ask for one. I’ve spotted for a few friends when they played with someone they didn’t know before at play parties to ensure that what they wanted didn’t happen. I’ve stepped in and said no to d types before because they wanted to take off someone’s underwear even after she said no during negotiation. There are people around who are happy to make sure you’re safe. Use them and don’t be afraid to ask for them to do it. Whether they are your friends or the Dungeon Monitors.

Your own safety is paramount and playing is secondary in this case. There will always be someone who wants to spank you, tie you up, hurt you or whatever else you’re into.

2 Comments

  1. Good answers. 🙂

    Your safe word explaination reminded me of a recent fetlife post that I thought was clever. The writer used the words “yellow” to mean slow down or take a break and “red” to stop. Clear, concise, and easy to remember.

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