I read this article online over the weekend and it resonated with me a lot.
I think because I used to be the person that didn’t say no to anything and ended up saying yes to everything. Then I found in my early 30’s that I no longer was saying yes to things that I didn’t want to do, or give permission for.
“The Fuck-Off Fairy is a special kind of fairy. She shows up on the night of your 30th birthday, while you are sleeping, and waves a magic wand over you.” Article can be found here.
The article is actually in regards to fat shaming and one woman’s account of how her fuck off fairy helped her.
I’d like to say that my fuck off fairy has developed into an everyday fuck off fairy. She has helped me to say fuck off to things that I wouldn’t have dreamed of saying no to in my 20’s. She’s given me the confidence and the self-awareness to know that I don’t have to say yes to everything.
She’s helped me learn that the world will not stop spinning if I don’t do what’s being asked of me. And believe it or not, I actually feel a bit empowered when I can stand up and disagree. Or say no.
For someone who was a constant yes girl this is a huge huge thing.
I also think it comes down to the fact that I just don’t have the tolerance for people and their stupidity like I once used to. I mean, I’m in my mid 30’s. I don’t have the time or want to put in the effort required to explain to said stupid people how they are being stupid and what they might want to look at in changing their behaviours. It’s just not my problem.
I’ve started to say no to things like people asking to borrow my things. Like my shiny new red push bike, someone asked to borrow that. I said no. That thing cost me $400 – unless people are happy to pay me for the bike itself if something happens then I’m not going to start lending it out. Thank you fuck off fairy.
I say no to people borrowing my books and dvd’s. Because I never get them back and I’m still replacing missing titles in my sets of books & dvd’s. I find this annoying. So I’ve stopped doing it.
I think my 30’s are more about me than anyone else and for the first time in my life I’m actually enjoying it. I see my friends when I want to see them. We do things, we go out, we go bike riding, we go to movies and get lost in the Australian bush. I think it’s just a subtle shift in me that’s changed my whole outlook of my life and where I want it to go.
I am back at University full-time this year, as well as working full-time. I’ve decided that I really want to be working in the field I’m studying and not sitting at work being bored because I haven’t got enough things to do. I figure I can spend the time studying because that’s useful way of spending my day. And I have about a year left of studying to finish my degree. Then I can apply for jobs where I want and actually get one. This is my major motivating factor.
But most of all, I think the fuck off fairy has eclipsed just the ability for me to tell people to sod off, what she’s done is open my eyes to a whole new reality of myself and how I interact and view myself.
So do you have a fuck off fairy? What things has yours helped you do?